Tag Archives: Aspergers

You have Aspergers? Really?! I wouldn’t have known…

Have you ever heard this? I have.

It is one of the most annoying things I hear (almost every time I tell someone). It often goes one of two ways…

1) Wow! I had no idea. You don’t have poor social skills at all. I wouldn’t have known otherwise since [insert something they think I am good at that they heard aspies can’t do]

2) Really? Are you sure? You really don’t seem anything like my [insert one person they know who is on the spectrum]. They [insert something they do that I don’t].

So, which is more annoying?

Well, the second one makes me want to punch the person in the face. People who (you might not be able to totally tell from how I wrote it, but in some cases it really is how they feel) think that I really don’t have aspergers. Somehow, they think I made it up or was misdiagnosed or just that I’m part of this whole aspergers “fad” (excuse me?! I hate when people say that). However, I know then that they just don’t know what they are talking about and I can ignore them.

First option. How am I supposed to reply? “Why thank you! I’m so glad that I fake it so well. I’m so relieved that my neurotypical disguise has been working!” or “It’s called coping mechanisms and teaching myself social skills through painful trial and error” or how about, “I’m so glad that you think that is a compliment. You might need to work on your social skills though since that is sort of rude and implies it is something I am trying to hide”.

I’m sure at some point I will want to vent about this more. I get way too many stupid comments about this stuff and it always drives me crazy.

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Filed under My life as an aspiefeminist

High risk factors for sexual assault/abuse

  • People with physical/cognitive/mental disabilities or anything other than “normal” often receive inadequate sexual education, if they receive any at all
  • Those on the spectrum are less likely to pick up on social cues that could indicate danger or realize that they may have non-verbally implied things that they are not aware of
  • Often people on the spectrum are “gullible” and don’t realize when someone is using them
  • Prone to depression and a whole bunch of other not fun things
  • Likely to be picked on in general and not have so many friends, so someone wanting to talk to or spend time with you seems great! (instead of seeming suspicious or dangerous in many contexts)
  • Sexual activity can give social acceptance not otherwise available
  • “Telling” on someone who does something to them would only make bullying/isolation worse
  • Issues with appropriate boundaries
  • so many other reasons…

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Sex Education

If you were in a special education school/program:

  1. Did you have sexual education?
  2. If so, did it cover abuse (sexual, physical, and emotional/psychological)?
  3. Do you feel it was different than you would have received in a mainstream school?

If you were in a mainstream educational program:

  1. Did you have sexual education?
  2. If so, did it cover abuse (sexual, physical, and emotional/psychological)?
  3. Did it cover any of the issues of vulnerability of particular populations, disability sexuality, or have any awareness of the presence of people with different experiences when they interact with the world?

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Doctors should…

Top five things you wish happened/didn’t happen in your last doctors appointment?

Top five things you wish people knew in a medical setting about ASDs?

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